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This topic has been created for members who enjoy round-the-clock chatting about “this ‘n that”.

 

The last few posts from the comments section have been copied here so that everyone can pick up right where they left off.

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I know I'm pretty raw emotionally, but it just feels like no matter what I do it's not good enough. I want to fix this, but I can't. He made his choices and is now suffering the consequences. But at some point with addiction, you have no choice - the addiction just takes over. And it doesn't just affect the person with the addiction, but those who care about them. I'm learning more than I ever wanted to know about alcoholism.

I bet you are. You need this like you need another hole in the head! Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer.

I'm so sorry for you Willow. I have to go to my barber appt. I'll BBL.

Thanks for listening- it helps. I hope I'm asleep by the time you get back!

The first thing you need to learn about any addiction is that you have no control, no choice. The person with the addiction is the one calling the shots. There is no "fixing" that you can do. The addict will even go to great lengths to defy you and your help. The best you can do is to stop trying to help him. You should really go to a few Al-Anon meetings. It will help if you let it. And if you are not comfortable talking to them, go to your pastor. You are in need of spiritual comfort beyond what we can provide.

That's why I've contacted the EAP at work and start next week. I know I'm in too derp

It is easy to get sucked in, I agree. The nice thing about Al-Anon, you don't have to wait, you don't have to make an appt, you don't even have to talk. And they are free.

I'll try to see if I can find a day time mtg. I'm off Sat night if there's one around. Thanks Alex

I went to 2 AA meetings. They were both held in rooms whose only source of light was a candle in front of each person. All I heard were horror stories. Nothing motivational or therapeutic at all. The doughnuts were good though, lol. I hope you have a different experience than me Willow.

Thank you. Me too. Well problem fixed. I have heat. I'm going to bed!

Can't speak about the AA meetings as I have never attended one. But the Al-Anon ones I attended were very informative and they helped with coping stratagies. You learned that the drinking is not your fault, not you problem to fix and not in your control. No matter how much you love someone, this is their choice, their path to walk, not yours. If love was enough, there would be no addicts.

What you said is true. But that doesn't negate the fact that its devastating on the drinkers family.

I know.

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