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My boyfriend just left for boot camp to san diego on November 28th . Its already a big struggle for me. Its both of our first time being in a serious relationship and him leaving sooner than we thought toughened things even more. Any advice?

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Start writing him now. It is ok to let him know you miss him, just don't dwell on it. The little known fact about Boot Camp is those of us on the sidelines waiting, have to under go our own transformation. We may not recieve an EGA (Eagle, Globe, Anchor, the Marine symbol) but we transform too. We learn how to cope while our loved ones are gone and out of communication. Because if you decide to stick this out and keep the relationship going all through his time in the Marines, there will more than likely be other times that there will be little or no communication.

So do somethings for you. Pick up a spin class or do yoga. Learn a new language, volunteer with a program like Big Sister. Pick up more hours at work, concentrate on your studies and make some female friends who will go out to the movies or have dinner parties where everything is pot luck. Learn to quilt or do small household repairs, learn how to maintain your car and through this all, write, write, write. lol You will have lots to tell him. Keep him up to date on the mutual friends you have, how his fav sports teams are doing and just your life in general. 

Thank you so much for the awesome advice! I haven't recieved his mailing address yet but I am going to just start writing I think it will help me feel better so that when I do get his address I can start sending the letters right away. One thing that worrys me is that our letters might become dry. I hope they don't and I hope that we don't run out of things to talk about. I guess this whole thing is scary for the both of us because our relationship happened so fast and it got serious so fast. Sometimes it makes me wonder if while he is away at boot camp that I might get that letter that says we should take a break while he is gone. Its hard because I would always ask him "what are you thinking?" And now I don't know what he is thinking. I don't want him to drift away from me because some people have been telling me that there is that possibility that when he graduates that he might not feel the same about me.

Look, if you had to go to a Dr and have a lump checked out, would you talk to people who tell you "Oh it's cancer and you are gonna die"? Or would you talk to people who are going to tell you to gather all the information you can, ask lots of questions so that when the time comes you can make the best decision that you can? Because that is what we will tell you. Ask questions, trust your bf, trust yourself, have faith that you will be able to do this.

And I can understand your worry about the letters but you will be one of his lifelines to the outside. He hears no radio, TV, has no access to newspapers or magizines so you will help with that.

I Bet you have some idea of the kind of music he likes, you can send song lyrics and tell him why you thought of him when you heard them. Poetry, talk about books you've read. Think of this as another way to know someone without a physical relationship getting in the way. This is purely mind to mind. You can do this. :)

Thank you so much that really provided a lot of insight. Its awesome that you and others are able to reach out to other people and give the best advice. It means the world.

Hugs to you. You will have some crappy days and that is ok. We can help you through them. And again, I wouldn't hide them from him but don't dwell on it because while you want to keep him informed of your life, you also need to let him focus on getting through Boot Camp so keeping the negativity at bay is the best policy. 

Also, here is the link to the 3rd Bn page.

http://marinefamilynetwork.com/group/mcrdsd3

Looks like your bf will be India.

What does that mean exactly?

If you click on the first link, the one for India Co, there is a closed facebookpage you can join where you can talk to other loved ones who have a Rct. in that same Company. Or scroll down a little & click on the one that has your ship date specifically & you can follow along on this site.

Now specifically, San Diego has 3 Rct. Training Battalions; 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

Each Battalion (Bn) has 4 Companies (Co)

1st BN is Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta

2nd is Echo, Fox, Golf, Hotel

3rd is India, Lima, Kilo, Mike

The military uses a spelling alaphabet because the words are distinct and there will be less confusion during times of confusion or scattered communication.

Now you know his Bn., his Co, all you really need is his Plt number and you will have his address. Since he just got his Plt assigned on Friday, his form letter with the address won't go out until tomorrow at the earliest. So it should show up sometime about Thurs or Friday. I hope you know his parents because chances are that is where it will go.

Thank you so much for that information! I just requested to become part of the Facebook group :)

Jesenia,

You are already taking a very important first step- reaching out to a community who can support you and help you along this complicated, sometimes frustrating, but overall amazing process! My Marine went to Parris Island in April. We're both in our late 20's; I don't know how old you are, but age can make the experience different (but not always!). He just finished his MOS training and landed in Okinawa yesterday. Even though the distance is greater now, the distance between us was MUCH heavier during the recruit training. BUT...if y'all can make it through this, you two can withstand much greater!

As alex2toes said, WRITE, WRITE, WRITE! The letters boost morale so much. Send pictures as much as you can, too. My Marine ALWAYS responded in letters with "send more pics!" At this point, he has been there for about four weeks? I'm sure you've got a rhythm going, so keep it going. I scanned almost all the letters I sent out just for memory sake. Of course, the first few I couldn't contain how much I missed him. Eventually though, I realized the best thing for him at the end of the day was respite from the training, monotony, yelling, and whatever else the DI's put them through during the 13 weeks. So over time, my letters focused around my daily life (even boring work drama), headline news (you have to remember they don't get told much!), and what was going on in our town/region/state, etc. We live close to Atlanta, so I would send him random news stories from ATL newspapers to keep him in the loop. From my experience, he really liked those simple reminders of home.

I'm not sure about West Coast, but at PI we could send certain, approved items. I sent him engineering magazines and space magazines because he's into that kind of stuff. Whatever your boyfriend is interested in, try doing the same. It's not necessary, but it's icing on the cake. :)

Whatever you do, don't stop writing. Their training is vigorous and time consuming. Any free time they get, they will often want to crash. If you don't get many letters back, that's okay. Don't read into it. It's more important that he gets letters from you than him responding every time. It's a tough concept to swallow I know, but trust me, it all comes back in the end!

I hope this helps. There are also groups here for SI's and once he knows his IOS/MCT/MOS station, there are specific groups for those as well. Don't hesitate to private message for advice!

-Lizz

P.S.- NEVER put stickers or doodles on the envelopes you send to him. I never had to learn the hard way, but I've heard even writing the address in a color other than black or blue will make him stand out...Marines don't like to stand out in THAT way haha!

 

Thank you so much for the advice! I have been writimg him like crazy! I know i may not receive as much as i send but thats okay i know its not his fault. Its gotten better and better. Sometimes i feel down but i pick myself up because i love him and i know he wouldnt want me to be down. He is doing something amazing! Im so proud of him. Today is his last day of phase 1 and im so happy. We both agree that time is going by fast. Only 7 weeks left! Almost halfway! Today is actually out anniversary so i sent him a cute lover letter. I miss him tons but i know this is the lifestyle i signed up for . I feel like since he is gonna be a marine then yeah i wanna be his SO. I can tell by his letters that he misses me and in some way it is actually bringing us closer together. I cant wait til graduation day! Ive been do grateful for this site and also im a part of the Facebook page for gfs wives and fiancees of recruits and marines. Those girls have been such good motivators. So once again you have no idea how thankful i am for the advice.

Jesenia! It is so good to see you are doing so well. I used to Moderate the Wives, Girlfriends and Fiancess of Marines board when it was on this site and I know what a great group of young women they were. I am so happy that you have found these young ladies. I know you will be a source of continued support for one another. And who knows? You may meet a graduation or a PDS one day. 

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